I don’t think i’ve ever hidden the fact that i dislike my job from anyone other than those i work with. I spend my days bored by the work (mostly tech support) and on the rare occasion when something remotely challenging does crop-up (some php coding, usually) i just label it as “too hard” and put it off for as long as possible. This is certainly the wrong attitude to have, meaning, as it does, that my “personal development” is non-existent, but it is bred of my natural laziness and a severe lack of motivation. Despite what i may say in job interviews, i am not self-motivated – at least not for the line of work i have ended up in – I require motivation but in this role i get nothing. There is no carrot and there is no stick. I could work harder than a sweat-shop labourer but would get no thanks and, more importantly, since the position is a dead-end (no promotion route, and no obvious sideways step that might take me anywhere) would see no more money for it. Similarly, i could spend all day killing time on the web and would get no scolding nor any pay docked. In reality, i just plod through the work but take frequent breaks, all the while loathing the job, my colleagues and myself a little bit more with each tiresome second.
“So why don’t you ditch this job, if you hate it so much?” Easy. The age-old reason: Money. I am paid reasonably well for what i do – there is no denying this – and for a number of years i’ve lived comfortably on my wage. However, the wage has remained static while the size of my family – and thus house and car, etc – have not. We are now at a point where outgoings are beginning to outweigh income and there is little else to economise or cut-back on. I cannot, therefore, resign from this job to find something i might enjoy doing as i would undoubtedly have to start at the bottom of a new ladder. Nor can i afford to be sacked as any new position in IT that i would be qualified and/or experienced enough to take on would not pay a salary anything like the one i receive currently.
I am a slave to the wage.
I do not want to be.
“You’re not the only one. Do something about it instead of moaning.” I realise i’m not the only person that lives like this and i know that i’m fortunate in many regards, including that i have a job at all. I didn’t write all this in order to try and garner sympathy. It is all a prelude to this question:
How can i make £100,000?
My debts currently total around £100,000. The largest part of this is a mortgage, which is not due to be paid off for another 20 years – and that is looking increasingly likely to be the best case scenario (more realistic scenarios involve us having to change the terms of the mortgage or even re-mortgage). I cannot stand the idea of working in this job for 20 years more, so i need a way out. And the only way out i see is to pay off this debt at once and gain the freedom to take on any old job (minimum wage, if necessary) while i work out what i want to do with the rest of my life, work-wise. Furthermore, i want to do this as soon as possible – there’s no point making £100,000 over a decade or even over 5 years. That’s just more time wasted. So my question is amended to:
How can i make £100,000 in a year?
The first port of call for an idiot like me is to try something idiotic like playing the national lottery – but, as some of you know, i’ve been trying that without much luck.
I love the idea of writing a book but as you can see for yourself, for a man born and raised in England, my written English is pretty abysmal.
Next crazy thought: “invent something” – yeah, like it’s that easy. I’ve had my thinking cap semi-permanently fitted for years now and have come up with nothing. Nought. Zero. Zilch. Diddly squat.
The only way in which i can see an uninspired fool like me make such a large sum of money is to have lots of people give me very little money. A bit like that smart bastard that sold a million pixels at a dollar each or like how most charities operate. Obviously i’m not a charity and don’t want or need a hand-out. Sure i might not want to work hard in the job i have but i do want to earn my money.
So what can i offer? As nobody would want my wreck of a body and selling semen online appears to be a no-no, then all i can think of offering is a drawing. I’m no pro but I enjoy drawing and the people i’ve drawn things for in the past always seem pleased with their sketch. Plus they cost me (next to) nothing to produce and each buyer would get something unique for their cash.
I could offer 100,000 drawings at 1 pound each. At that price i would hope, with some interwebs-word-of-mouth, that i’d get 100,000 customers. However, 100,000 drawings at 1 per hour, every hour non-stop would still take over 11 years to complete. Even if you increase the charge and thus reduce the number of pictures needed, i’d still have to spend the year without sleep.
So what if i only do one drawing per day? That’s quite an easy schedule to stick to but as there’d only be 365 pictures to sell i would have to charge £274 for each of them to pass my £100,000 goal. And since i’m not comfortable with calling myself an artist, i figure that’s a bit much to expect people to pay for one of my doodles.
I was about to give up and throw this idea on the scrap heap when i mentioned it to a friend who had a very clever solution: Charge not for each drawing but for my drawing time! Sell 100,000 units of drawing time and allow people to buy a drawing as detailed as they like. £1 per “credit” and you get what you pay for. Buy a single credit and i’ll draw whatever you request but it’ll be a small, quick doodle. Buy 5 credits and you get something a little more considered emailed back to you. Buy 25 credits and you get a copy emailed and a print of your drawing posted to you. Hopefully you get the idea. The more credits you buy, the more time i spend on the drawing and/or the more extras you get. Print outs, postcards, greeting cards, t-shirts, etc. – there’d be a wealth of options available. Hell, i’d even sell the original drawing and the copyright for the right price.
I think it’s the sort of thing that, with a bit of luck, could really work for me.
BUT: What do you, my potential customer, think? Is this something you’d go for? Would you spend a few quid on commissioning a little drawing? Or in admitting that this is a way for my family to achieve mortgage-free living have i put you off? Any and all opinions on this are welcome – please let me know what you think in the comments below, in an email or via twitter.
I’ve fancied changing my numbers for weeks now but haven’t yet gotten around to it. I expect there will be another penny of interest in the Not a Lottery bank account too but i haven’t checked it yet. (Do you see a pattern forming here?)
Lottery balance: £-36.00 // Not A Lottery balance: £36.05